Originally Posted By: HowlerKarma

How old is your child? How FUNCTIONALLY old in terms of executive function? How old FUNCTIONALLY in terms of emotional regulation?

Those things govern your response, IMO.

Don't tolerate what you know that your child CAN help but just doesn't want to-- that's enabling, and it won't help anything.

So if you know that your child is manipulating you into managing his anxiety... refuse to take ownership of what doesn't belong to YOU.


This is the part plaguing me, I think. Functionally, he is very delayed in EF. As far as emotional regulation, he has good behavioral control (i.e. he doesn't act out at school), but he shuts down and won't ask for help from anyone but me.

He asks me for help by telling me he is suicidal via text, that he can't take one more minute of this, that he's going to have a nervous breakdown, and begging for help.
Expressing suicidal ideation is his new "script." He is not suicidal. I told him he has to stop saying this, or we will have to go to the ER for evaluation, because that's the rule. Fact is, he would deny it to anyone else so he would not be admitted to psych unit (nor should he be, because it wouldn't help anything).

When this happened yesterday, his teacher had no idea he was upset. I told him he needed to go to the nurse, and he did, but he didn't tell her he was upset, either. smirk

Nobody at school ever believes me when I try to explain that he is anxious, because you can't tell by looking and he won't tell you. He does have a 504.

His doctor (psychiatrist) said he would fill out the document asking for homebound instruction to finish out the year, if I request it. I don't want DS' avoidance strategies to work--so am still deciding.

To make matters more confusing, I texted him awhile ago and asked if today is going better, and he responded "I prefer Tuesdays." Tuesdays are band, digital photography, writing days--IOW, easy days.

DS is autistic, so I'm not sure if I can expect these things to improve a lot any time soon. Right now, trying to figure out a good balance between challenge and pressure. I feel like his EF would be overtaxed in any school environment that provided any sort of challenge.