Originally Posted by ultramarina
MANY adults strongly DISLIKE this from a child.

And that's fair if there's a legitimate reason for following a predetermined course of action, like wearing seat belts or not massively impeding classmates' ability to learn. But there is a strong undercurrent in North American culture of either spoiling children and giving them anything they want or expecting mindless conformity, with no middle ground. Why not teach kids to be good citizens and empower them with the ability to self-advocate on reasonable terms?

It's also a question of determining the guiding principles of justice in your home. For us, we follow a Pareto efficiency approach--we want a negotiation to be a Pareto improvement, resulting in everyone collectively at least as well off as before the negotiation, with no person worse off. Otherwise, the negotiation doesn't happen. DH and I actively use parental veto when needed because we're parents and have better judgment than DS on account of experience and perspective, and that's teaching DS that he has to be reasonable.
We definitely still end up with some red faced, teary "waaaaah"s, but that's part of the learning process.

What is to give light must endure burning.