I'm actually thinking I'll request that our pediatrician not refer us to pediatric specialists, where possible, as I have found they usually have a saccharine, condescending way of speaking to children that sends DS running for the hills. Far better to just see a specialist who covers the same condition in adults who is nonplussed about actually seeking patient consent. I could see DS lose all respect for the ophthalmologist, and it's really not healthy for a 3 year old to doubt the qualification of his health care providers.

We had a visit with a pediatric dentist when DS was 2 who claimed to have a good understanding of the needs of SPD children, but who went on to shine lights, talk loudly, and touch DS without asking or explaining. This after being told at length that DS' strongest sensory defensiveness is oral. I was impressed that DS didn't deck him at the time. I ended the visit after 3 minutes. Suffice it to say, we have a good friend who lives of of town and works as a dental hygienist. We will be making the 2 hour pilgrimage to her office because she gets DS and is willing to take the time needed to make the appointment mutually satisfactory. That, to me, is worth the extra effort.

I'm willing to be assertive and disliked if medical care for my son doesn't meet my standards. I have no problem wearing the project manager/taskmaster hat with medical professionals. I am a taxpayer--or a paying customer, in the case of dental visits. They work for me and I set the preconditions for their work.

What is to give light must endure burning.