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I was assuming that a social therapy group would consist of children all having some sort of social delays...or else they would not need that group?
Needing a social skills group does not imply aggressive behavior.

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I think you are assuming my son is running around hitting and spitting at every single child he sees.
This is false. I have assumed nothing. I have responded to what you chose to post.

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tablet... chart
Based on the information in your posts, I would recommend the chart.

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we sat through a couple of sessions with a counselor about child behavior but seriously nothing from that helped us...like mentioned before, if he truly is gifted this may be why no traditional discipline techniques designed for "the normal" child work for us.
The psych eval, recommended by your doctor, may be of help. There are professionals familiar with the gifted. Another poster has shared the list found on the Hoagies website.

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I fear that she will get hurt... he just doesn't understand why he can't sit on her, or hit her out of excitement... we don't hit PERIOD... He will say things like "mommy, look I am hitting her!...come look!" which makes me think he wants attention... I just think that you think my son is some hardened criminal in the making and I truly don't think that he is.
The psych eval, recommended by your doctor, may be of help. You posed this question in your original post: "I go to a new doctor in a couple of weeks and would like to see if we need to get a psychological evaluation or something? What do you recommend? Sometimes he is flat out just out of control...extreme defiance. I fear oppositional defiant disorder as well but hoping this is all part of being gifted..."

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I think that if we make some changes it may not be too late to help him become a wonderful young boy.
The psych eval, recommended by your doctor, may be of help: "she is pushing for the psych eval".

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In all fairness, nobody knows my child like I do and nobody on here can see him in person.
Correct. And yet you started a thread to ask for advice. My advice is to have the psych eval, as recommended by your doctor.

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A professional will be able to steer us better and give us some answers.
Correct. I have stated this consistently.