Originally Posted by Wren
My kid has had playdates, at other people's houses the last couple days, which did give me time off. And she had a great time, but as Madeline Levine talked about, it doesn't do all the stuff that going out into the hood, finding mates and then creating activities out of nothing.

I am not familiar with Madeline Levine - but I agree, having to make pre-arranged playdates isn't the same thing. I suppose we are in an atypical situation, but we don't live in a highly-populated urban area (although we do live in a city). Kids in our neighborhood free-range, especially in the warm weather. In some ways, the play probably isn't terribly different between free-ranging and arranged playdates- there are still opportunities with a set-up playdate for the kids to be creative, use their imaginations, explore etc - but there isn't the same type of give and flow of groupings of children, and there isn't the same wide range of "shall we do this or shall we do that". I think a lot of socialization happens when there are kids available from more than one family, when the kids out playing aren't just the two best friends, when there might be a kid out today who isn't always there etc. None of the parents are actively having to plan "let's make sure we have x y and z available so the kids stay entertained" - which I do see happening when my kids go on arranged playdates.

I don't know that one is better than the other, but I do think there is a different *something* about the different situations. Plus it's *totally* a lot easier for me as a parent to not have to drive and drop off and pick up etc - and it's a lot easier for me to "host" other kids at my house when they are coming and going rather than coming for a set amount of time. I'm probably spending more time paying attention but it's all just somehow more natural and easier.

polarbear