This isn't an entirely selfish argument on my part-- truly.

I am genuinely concerned for DD's peers who are NT or MG, but whose parents (and clearly, local administration and teachers, if parents are "slackers") insist that they need to DO all of the stuff that HG+ kids are known for when things are going well.

THAT is where you hear stories of overwrought, overworked, sleep-deprived kids who are sleeping 3hr a night to fit in one more AP class, etc.

Those kids are real. They are desperately trying to keep their heads above water, and my DD just keeps her mouth shut about how easy she finds it, and offers a shoulder to cry on when they can't measure up to those impossibly high expectations. One of my daughter's friends (again-- MG from what I've seen of her) was told in no uncertain terms that an "acceptable" PSAT score was 99th percentile. Period. Make it happen. These are real children that I really know. They are good kids, they are bright kids, and they are (mostly) hard-working kids. But they aren't what their parents apparently want them to be, which is HG+. (Apparently-- since that seems to be the underlying message about human worth here.)

I think that this is toxic and I think that it is wrong.

Just because those opportunities EXIST shouldn't mean that parents HAVE to push their kids into (ALL of) them, but that does seem to be the current model of thinking. The vast majority of parents locally want their kids in "the top" group. Period. Whatever it is, that's what they want.

It's hyper-competitive, and it is very definitely fueled by the gone-crazy, jumped-the-shark College Sweepstakes.

Yes, it'd be nice if my own child could have some true peers to learn with, but I understand that statistics are not on her side there, and so does she. She does NOT resent her classmates (and if she did, I'd have some pretty stern things to point out to her about human worth). She is frustrated that the LEVEL of some classes is so clearly watered down or slowed down, though.

It'd be even nicer if the kids actually in her classes were not looking shell-shocked and traumatized or harried.

Everyone DOES deserve appropriate education. And it's not the same thing for everyone.





Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.