I hate to say it, but I definitely see this attitude trickling down to parents my son's age. DS2.25 is registered in one scheduled activity now-- a group music class (in the fall/winter, we also swam)-- and the rest of his time is free play, play dates with his buddy, and reading.

We live in an affluent neighbourhood, and about 7/8 of the children nearby have nannies (most of whom ignore their charges in public), attend a programmed activity or two daily , and are being forced into every possible advantage-earning preschool. One flustered mother actually asked me what kindergarten DS was going to attend in his class for 1 year olds last year. I was aghast.

Maybe I'm just laissez-faire by nature, but I'm confident in my mothering being good preparation for DS for life. The Mass Insecurity Complex that pervades the Desperate Social Climber Parents (herein "DSCP") is beyond my comprehension.

None of those DSCP would ever understand a child like DS, or the children of any other posters here. Tonight, DS decided we should spend an hour before bed using new rolls of toilet paper in all sorts of unorthodox applications, like making rain, bowling, building forts, balancing rolls on our heads, racing toilet paper cars, etc. This was after he talked my ear off about the role of the amygdala.

To the DSCP, none of that would be valuable because, a) it can't go on a prep school application, b) it doesn't make them look good, and c) they don't actually want to interact with their children, they just want to display them. The child is reduced to commodity status by DSCP, which is why the whole parental arms race is such a tragedy. When it comes time for university, is it any surprise that the child is subsumed by the DSCP's external locus of control and misplaced self-concept? I swear, the DSCP's mantra is, "every time your child outdoes mine, I haemmhorage a little in my brain."


What is to give light must endure burning.