When you say someone is immature for their age you assume that they will grow up and become more mature. But often what people see as immaturity is just personality - extreme sensitivity or the inability to tolerate certain things (noise, smells, boredom) are just how the person is. A person who is expending a lot of energy coping with the environment they are in has limited resources for coping with social situations requiring skill and attention.
Ok I have a chip on my shoulder about this - I was kept in the half of the class that went in the bottom composite (ie the 3/4 rather than the 4/5) because i was one of the youngest in the class and "socially immature" - i was both bored rigid and convinced they thought i was stupid and at 44 i am still socially immature.
Ds is sensitive and outraged by others' behavior. He's a great kid with a sense of humor and a quick wit. He can hold his own with adults and older kids but completely loses his cool with friends who act badly or unfairly. So he's the one the parents make a point to keep out of the gang if there are plans to go anywhere. What a message that has given him: do what you know is right, don't cheat, exclude others, lie, hurt others physically but tolerate it when it's done to you by most of your "friends."
