Thanks all for the feedback. Perhaps I should specify that I'm not concerned about responding to the comments from strangers, but rather am focusing on how to help our children avoid internalizing the comments. An effective retort is a good first-line defence, but more is needed.
I'd be interested to hear, particularly, about the different approaches parents have used to manage frequent excessive praise from relatives and authority figures, like teachers and coaches versus strangers' comments. ColinsMum makes a good point about promoting a growth mindset.
In our experience, there IS no great, foolproof way to do that.
The more unusual your child is, the more these messages will resonate with them (because let's face it, high intellectual ability often comes with perceptiveness and a great deal of insight per unit age)...
ergo, they KNOW that they are unlike their peers. They
know that they are more capable, that others seem "slow" comparatively, etc.
Further, this lends credence to the value judgments pronounced by others because they are
plausible.ETA: My DD relies upon her dad and I as a rock in this respect-- we will
always give her an unvarnished opinion of her performance/results. Our standards are VERY high. If she does a half-baked job on a school assignment, I'm likely to be more honest than the teacher is.
So when I offer praise-- she KNOWS that it's genuine.
