holy moly.
this was FANTASTIC ADVICE from all! i mean this sincerely. and i realize that (who said 1/2 cocked- they hit it right on!) i really need to calm down BEFORE i make my next move.
first, i need to get myself back into a positive place!
and then i need to focus (as if this was an IEP) and go in completely prepared for different types of scenarios, have my notes at hand, and just be in a place/state of mind- where i will remain calm. and where i can be more objective. stating clear and concise facts and not come across demanding or even as needy.

after reading your replies, i re-read my post and realized i am completely out of whack, i am full of negativity... for me, this is a very UNproductive state to be in! so i am going to clear my mind of ALL of this for the next week! i am going to have a terrific next wkd- and then on monday, i am going to regroup and make an appt with the principal for later in the week. and discuss this all in a calm and rational manner smile
that's my goal in that respect.

oh speaking of respect- yes deedee good points, i agree with you, in this particular instance (when he is saying bored) he truly is. he is at a much higher level than what the teacher is teaching, in just about all subjects....i wish it was the other. that i would be more willing to accept- i would work to change it, but it would be his issue not teachers. the teacher knows the level he is at, SAS was supposed to be the fix for that. there is NO SAS taking place. simple as that.

but one point to add here is that yes, i keep saying he has some social awkwardness as i call it, he is honest to a fault. he is very empathetic. he is typically very respectful of others including other kids, but YES he does demand respect back. *i will add that i feel very strongly that ALL people no matter who they are deserve respect to some degree and i do feel that the teacher should be respectful of the students, and i have taught my son to be respectful but also that he should demand respect from others as well ie depend on situation but generally, it is rude if friends eat candy in front of just one other child and do not offer to share, you might call this being polite, but i also call it being respectful of another childs feelings.
ie he would never reach over and touch someone elses food at lunch, and he expects others to treat him the same, he was just about beside himself when a fellow student (a friend) reached over and touched his cookie- he was very upset and refused to eat it because of possible germs because he knew his friend never washes his handds (truth- parents working on that!) and he didn't get why his friend would do that when again he himself never would because he knew it wasn't right.....
and yes, this simple incident at lunch time ruined the rest of his whole day== he wasn't able to get over it.

in regard to him saying actual respect, i did explain why he should give it to her. i did say, even though you may not agree, you need to still show her respect... we then discussed ways to do this and things to not do in class---- we also talked about ways we respect all sorts of people including him just respecting his friends etc. and he did bring up that cookie incident again! ds has an amazing memory.
so that actually was a good opportunity to discuss all that.

and actually in regard to these issues, the teacher did say that he seemed to be better the past wk *oh, this was something positive she said! smile she can be a nice person. i realize that perhaps she is getting defensive because she feels like i am somehow saying she is not a good teacher. i believe she is a good teacher, which is why i am so confused as to why she is just not doing what was said would happen in regard to the differentiating etc. but maybe the school is holding her back?

ok, well, about the next 12years??
i figure if i get it all sorted out now?
and we get in our flow? well you know what they say!!
"the futures so bright! we gotta wear Shhahahaaaaaadddddddes!" -huey lewis smile
_________________________
One can never consent to creep when
one feels an impulse to soar!
~Helen Keller