Originally Posted By: cc6
i'd like to think of myself as being my son's "advocate", i want to be a team player, i want to be able to see these folks at school and feel a genuine warmth for them and know they are helping my child to succeed. i believe yes, you attract more bees with honey smile

...

now i am done.

...

i am going to take my son to school and make appt with principal.
i am going to flatout call her out. and
in as nice a way as i can,
i am going to let her know that if i do not see immediate action,
i am taking this above her to the superintendent, because i am CONCERNED about not only my child- but the entire student body- because WHAT is the school doing with the SAS $$$, if not applying it towards programs for the SAS kids???

so i feel i tried. now i will be the hardnosed advocate, and if by being that- i come across as pushy parent? too bad.
i really don't care. i feel i tried...
now i want to see some action. some type of positive change in the right direction.

any comments about my plan to approach the principal in this manner?


Speaking as someone who went from a cooperative, friendly, practically dripping with honey relationship with DD's school to a combative, angry one I would suggest that you take a deep breathe and reconsider your plan to approach the principal this way. You do not want to get combative if it is not necessary.

I did not choose to make our relationship confrontational - in our case it was hoisted upon me by a principal who made a series of decisions that really, REALLY negatively impacted my DD. I had to get combative - I don't think you do. Yes you have a right to be frustrated but you want to be smart about how you handle this. Going in to the principal's office, guns blazing, during the very beginning of kindergarten will not set you up for a productive relationship moving forward.

My suggestion is to go ahead and make an appointment with the principal. Use this opportunity to ask questions. Do not make demands. Do not threaten. You certainly don't want to present going to the superintendent as a threat - do it my way or I will make trouble for you. This principal has played this game before - you probably have not. There was another post recently from a parent who was kicked out of their principal's office. That will put you in a hole you will have to dig your way out of. You need to stay calm!

Once I realized my DD's situation was spinning out of control I had to make sure that my response was v-e-r-y measured. I was angry - really, really angry - but I had to stay calm in my dealings with the school. I hired a consultant who went to the Director of Special Services. We had several meetings with the DSS and bit by bit it became clear to him that my concerns were legitimate. He stepped in and basically marginalized the principal. Once DSS decided to leave the district the principal seized the opportunity to retaliate for going above her head. She behaved AMAZINGLY badly and put the district in a very bad position. As angry and upset as I was I HAD to remain calm. Bit by bit consultant and I chipped away again until we had several influential people on our side. Now we are back to having a cordial relationship with people at the school but the principal is seen in a very negative light and everyone is bending over backwards to try to meet DD's needs. This would never have been possible if I had gone off half-cocked threatening the principal, demanding immediate action or accusing her of misappropriating funds.

So your concerns may be legitimate. You don't want to handle the situation in a way that makes that point irrelevant though. Make sure you know exactly what you are asking for and why your DS needs it. Be sure you can be crystal clear on these things before you approach the principal. Good luck.