My two kids are both really tantrum/meltdown prone as well. It's gotten better as they've aged (8 & 9 now), but when they were younger they were far more reactive and emotional than other kids - it was hard to deal with. I got many of the "control your kids" looks and comments from strangers and friends alike.

Anyway, relating specifically to boys... my DS8 has gotten more mellow as he's aged, but can still kick up a fit. He has specific triggers:

-being misunderstood
-being told what to do
-disappointment
-low blood sugar
-fatigue
-frustration
-injustice
-impatience
-worry
-hurt feelings
-boredom
-being wrongly accused of something

He doesn't have a full meltdown for every trigger, but these are some of the things that elicit an exaggerated emotional response from him. Sometimes it's just a raised voice, sometimes it's tears, sometimes tears and wailing (at which point I can't reach him and have to let him cry it out for a minute), and sometimes it's tears, yelling and kicking (I've had to physically drag him away from the school, for example, because he's melted down over something like not being allowed to have a play date).

(At the other end of the spectrum he can be excessively happy and silly, so I'm just used to his extremes. This is true of my daughter as well).

What works best for his tantrums is the same approach for when he gets too silly - I use a clear, low, calm voice and talk him down. The more logical I am, the more able I am to reach him. I have to give him a reason that he agrees with to get him to calm down - he refuses to comply otherwise.

Worth noting is that no one (educators, etc) has suggested that he be assessed for ODD - his teachers all describe him as friendly and happy (with attention issues and impulsiveness, and some good natured insubordination). Grade 1 brought out some bouts of sadness in class, but grade 2 was markedly better.

Anyway... (I'm sorry - I babble :-) If you made a list of your son's triggers, would you find something that's changed?

Last edited by CCN; 07/10/12 09:36 AM.