Agreed, Bostonian. My family life was borderling neglectful and chaotic, and my parents were too engrossed in their own problems to pay any attention to me, which is how they wanted it. They didn't
want involvement in extracurriculars or awards ceremonies any more than they wanted conferences with teachers and behavioral interventions. KWIM? It's not unjustified resentment/bitterness, it's just not helpful or particularly healthy at this point in my life.
I also have to guard against pushing DD to do things that I
wanted to do (but couldn't) as a kid. When she fails to appreciate those things, I really have a hard time not feeling irritated, which isn't rational.
On the bright side, there is no WAY that I am that bad a parent, no matter how horribly I might mess up the little things on occasion. So I do have that, and many parents don't.
Great advice, Grinity!! Love that technique of active recognition!
