Originally Posted by Iucounu
Why are you afraid of her success? Is it jealousy or some other feeling based on comparisons with yourself? When you talk to other parents, is it based on the fear of exclusion from the group? Is it based on fear that you won't be able to provide for her needs if she is a star, or that she won't need you so much as a parent?
Or are you afraid something bad will happen to her if/when she beats others? Did something bad happen to you?

There are, actually, many reasonable fears in this area - but there are probably better strategies available than sabotage :-) I agree that being self-aware is hugely important, but I for one find that hard in these areas that are emotionally fraught.

Some of my feelings about DS's success are pretty complicated, too, but as I try to articulate them into a succinct paragraph to see whether there are things in common with what you're saying, I fail... Parenting a very unusual kid is not easy, and neither is being one, and I find my feelings on parenting one get mixed up with leftover feelings about being one. I don't think I sabotage (him!) but I do other weird things. I find it very hard to trust his teachers and school, even though they've been great so far, and I'm sure this is because mine failed me, for example. When I talk to a teacher (e.g. at a candidate senior school) who just doesn't get him, I am infuriated, but also in an odd way I relax - this attitude I understand!


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