My philosophy is that you either have to become one of "those" parents or you wind up with one of "those" kids, with behavior problems, depression, etc.
I hate advocacy, too, and that was a big factor in our decision to home school. I saw the fight we were in for, and given the teeny rewards we'd get for all our trouble, it just wasn't worth it to us. Our only option was really to push for a grade skip (or two!), and we just weren't sold on grade-skipping at the time. (I'm much more in favor of it now, though I think sports would become difficult for DS if we went that route. I'm not wild about that aspect of skipping even now.) Anything else would have required a HUGE fight for no real benefit.
Anyway, with kids like these, I really think you either advocate or go to a different educational provider, like a GT school (where you will probably still have to advocate somewhat) or home schooling. Those are really your only other options.
