I'd like to add that most of the things that my parents did right were the same thing that I'd do for any child, intellectually gifted or not.
Right:
Let us pursue our own interests
Encouraged us to do our best
Took us to the library every Saturday afternoon (even more so than the intellectual benefit, I treasure the memory of that time spent with my Dad)
Took us to the mountains for picnics on the weekend
Took us to our grandmother's for extended summer vacations each summer
where we had the chance to visit with extended family
Kept learning themselves (my Dad spent his summers getting a Master's degree at a prestigious university when I was in early elementary school)
Gave me a sibling
Let us keep our toys and inventions spread out all over the basement floor as well as outside
Let us paint our bedrooms ourselves
Showed up for all our school concerts, plays, awards
Told us it was ok (and even a good idea) to take a year off before we started college (neither of us did, but I think knowing that our parents acknowledged that we might not be ready to decide where we wanted to go or what we wanted to do was a wonderful type of freedom that helped us actually know what we wanted... how's that for confusing lol!)
Driving us to and paying for countless music lessons, band practices, girl scouts, whatever club/activity we wanted to take part in
Showing us an example of faith but not encouraging us to find our own faith rather than blindly accepting theirs
Understanding what it was like to be a teen and not being totally against everything it meant to be a teen (they were middle and high school teachers in the 60s/70s)
Letting us know it was ok to question the status quo
Insisted we write thank-you notes (not that I do that now, but I got the message - be thankful :))
Wrong:
My mother was very critical of me and did not give out hugs or declarations of I Love You etc freely
Back when I was a kid, in my school district, there were not as many opportunities for different types of school as there are now, and not as many opportunities for intellectual acceleration of enrichment. I don't remember parents pushing or advocating for their children - naturally I really can't have any idea what other parents were doing, but my own parents never asked for more challenging material for us, never pushed to have us accelerated, never asked for additional testing, never found any outside programs for high IQ kids for us to take part in. In spite of that, I was always in the top honors classes at school, was subject accelerated in several areas by the time I was in high school (thanks I guess to my own academic performance) and I took every AP course I could when in high school and loved them. I have vague memories of being bored when I was younger and still bored in quite a few of my high school classes, but I still enjoyed school for the most part and I did well. So even though that's not something my parents *did* ... I remind myself when I get frantic over what I have or haven't done for my own kids ... for the most part, our kids are going to be ok no matter what we as parents do or don't do
Best wishes,
polarbear
