Joyce Slaton is obviously an insecure person. She wanted a gifted child so she could make a more positive assessment of her own self-worth, but didn't get one. Now every time she is faced with a gifted child's accomplishment, it makes her miserable. She placed a high value on intelligence until she had a child that wasn't remarkably bright. Now she is trying to convince herself that there are more important things... and there are, but what she really wanted was a smart kid.

Guess what Joyce, I hate hearing about the accomplishments of non-gifted children. Do the parents even notice that I fall silent and get downcast, listening? I try not to let it show. I know the parents are just excited and proud, and maybe I’d feel the same way if it was socially acceptable to discuss my child's accomplishments. I don't tell them that my younger child passed the same milestone long ago. I smile and say "Wow. That's great!" and change the subject quickly, in order to avoid being cornered into a situation where I would have to lie to avoid raining on their parade.

I also hate hearing about the imagined short-comings that people pretend afflict most of the gifted population. My daughter is healthy with no known allergies, amazingly cute, amazingly bright, and amazingly well behaved (98% of the time). She is shy around people initially, but it passes. Why is it so important for others to believe that she is deeply flawed in some way? I don't desire to find flaws in other people's children, and I don't appreciate such a sentiment when directed at my child.

Having said that, I'm against bragging. It only serves to inflate one's own ego, and this is usually done at the expense of others. I suppose I'm guilty of some hiding, but there are limits to what I will do to accommodate the egos of other parents. Like others here, I wont give my children the impression that they have anything to be ashamed of.

I think the best thing to do is just live and be yourself. When someone notices that you are different (or your child is different) you can acknowledge that fact, but in a way that sends the message "we can still be friends."


Last edited by DAD22; 02/02/12 01:59 PM.