Those situations can be tough. Mine have ranged from a worried dad on the playground comparing his son to mine, where I felt compelled to make encouraging noises about children developing differently and not being able to predict much from early milestones (which I tend to believe in some respects) and to downplay DS's abilities, to a playdate at the house of a quite pushy mom, who incredulously stated that she didn't believe my son was reading-- after seeing him read some things, not after a mention by us-- and proceeded to test him on the spot, which I let proceed with some inner pleasure.
I've grown to dislike pushy, aggressive parents fairly intensely over time, whether or not there's a real reason for believing in the advancement of their children, no matter how much that advancement may be. I like being around smart adults and children, and wish we could be much more often. I also understand where the pushiness comes from-- not just the desire to be better than others, but usually primarily angst over opportunities for our children-- and know that it involves some commonality for parents of kids all over the continuum of ability. I just hate it, because sometimes the children of these parents seem unhappy on some level, and also because it only makes things uncomfortable for everyone. I view this as a bigger problem than off-the-cuff comments from random strangers who don't understand my kids.
I still remember orientation night at our kindergarten, where one of the mothers raised her hand and asked whether the more advanced children would be allowed to read to the class. She looked around the room to see the effect her words had caused. DW was rolling her eyes, and I'd barfed a little in my mouth.
